They are saying, “No.”
In my experience, kids don’t like to hear “No,” and neither do many adults. There are lots of examples of adults getting angry when they’re told, “No, you can’t do that,” or when they are corrected or told they are wrong.
So, do we abandon all hope of improvements? Do we say there are no standards?
Is carrying a lot of extra weight good for your body? Is carrying a lot of debt good for your finances? No. However, we are people with desires. Numbers are orderly and obey without dispute the signs for addition, subtraction, and multiplication. But when we look at numbers, we drown them in emotions and aspirations.
One person earns $40,000, another earns $400,000 and those numbers inevitably lead to discussions of values, economics and much more. However, for each of us, our budgets and diets are lived on a daily basis and are mostly in our control. By which I mean that if we are fortunate to have income at this time, we pay taxes and we decide how much is contributed to retirement. The rest of our money is guided by our daily decisions, and desires.
How we spend our money and what we eat are both related to our value system. What do we value? If we value good health, our food choices will support good health. If we value cash flow stability, we will not overspend even if we are tempted by the latest “I gotta have that” impulse.
These values are internal, unlike budgets and diets which by their nature set up an incipient rebellion in many people. We are referencing our values when we pass up willingly the greasy, salty yummy food or the sweet, gooey delicious food. We are living in our values when we save money to buy something instead of adding more debt to have instant satisfaction.
These are all hard things to do unless we have a vision of what we really want in our lives and we can keep that vision in front of us. One way to help stay on track is to pull away from the demands and noise around us. Write down what matters to you. What is it that you value? It can be a simple list in two columns: I want this in my life, I don’t want that in my life. Under each item, state one thing you can do to make that a reality.
If the list has just a few things, that’s fine. It’s a place to begin to encourage yourself to be yourself, to live in harmony with your values and not be pushed and pulled by forces outside you.
There are a number of other exercises that can help, and I am happy to share them with you if you want to continue this line of thought. These work if you’re just starting out or well into retirement. Many people I have worked with have been star examples of living through their values. One woman started working with me when she was 72 and is doing well at 88. Another is retiring early at 60 and her finances look good to age 100. A man who was so risk averse that his money was only invested in bank instruments, retired a millionaire because like the others, his choices and spending were aligned with what really mattered to him. None of them earned high salaries, but they are debt free, and doing well.
Living from your values can lessen stress and increase your smile quotient. Aren’t both worthwhile and more meaningful than living with restrictions imposed on you? Claim your life and enjoy good food and a sound financial situation.
All investing involves risk including loss of principal. No strategy assures success or protects against loss. This is a hypothetical example and is not representative of any specific situation. Your results will vary. The hypothetical rates of return used do not reflect the deduction of fees and charges inherent to investing.
Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.
Penelope@wealthychoices.com. Fax 781 893 3565. In all 50 states, Penelope S. Tzougros is registered with, and securities and advisory services are offered through, LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC. She is affiliated with Bay Financial Associates, LLC. Financial Planning is offered through Wealthy Choices® and Bay Financial Advisors, Inc. Both are registered investment advisors. Neither is a broker-dealer nor affiliated with LPL Financial.