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What If No One Says, “Wow?”

Post author By Dr. Penelope
Post date January 27, 2021
Categories In Budgeting

How others respond to us matters. We shape each other by our reactions. We shape our communities by our interactions.

Kids doing some daring feat like riding a two-wheel bike solo for the first time, might call out “look at me!” It’s great if someone is there to cheer them on and say, “wow, look at you!”

As you grow, the cheers might be a promotion at work for a job well done. There may be other acknowledgements like honors, trophies, awards, and commendations that say in their own way “Wow!”

If you buy something at a great price and tell a friend about it and the friend is impressed with your being such a savvy shopper that reinforces your pleasure in the item, you bought. If no one sees value in the unique object you cherish, does it diminish your regard of that object?

Suppose you live alone, and dress nicely each day though no one will see you, and you prepare tasty food that no one else will share with you. You exercise. You read. You learn. There are no gold stars for doing right things. There are no wow’s that admire you for holding it together, being positive and not falling apart. Would the lack of positive reinforcement change you over time?

Can you separate out the wow reinforcement? If there were no one to say “wow” about whatever you did that was special, or what you bought that was one of a kind, how would that lack of feedback change you?

Though it is good to be self-motivated and purposeful, being part of a community that can encourage us, and offer “wow’s” of appreciation, helps us thrive. The more we can offer each other genuine appreciation for the good we do, the more we create an environment that nurtures our capacity for love, creativity, and compassion. I send you a cheerful “Wow!” for reading this mediation and for considering the power of your “Wow!” in shaping the goodness around you.

All investing involves risk including loss of principal. No strategy assures success or protects against loss. This is a hypothetical example and is not representative of any specific situation. Your results will vary. The hypothetical rates of return used do not reflect the deduction of fees and charges inherent to investing.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

Penelope@wealthychoices.com. Fax 781 893 3565. In all 50 states, Penelope S. Tzougros is registered with, and securities and advisory services are offered through, LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC. She is affiliated with Bay Financial Associates, LLC. Financial Planning is offered through Wealthy Choices® and Bay Financial Advisors, Inc. Both are registered investment advisors. Neither is a broker-dealer nor affiliated with LPL Financial.

Balance, Credit Card Debt and “Her Niece, Elizabeth”

Post author By Dr. Penelope
Post date January 27, 2021
Categories In Budgeting

“From now on, I will always [fill in the next part: exercise, control my temper, eat more vegetables, save more money…]. If you are successful in following up on whatever statement you made, bravo. If you continued your plan for a long-time, months, years, you deserve more praise.

However, my friend Charlotte says, “People are uneven.” Sometimes we follow-up with what we think is best and other times we don’t.

So, how do we stay steady and in balance with our goals whatever they are? I think there are two parts to this. The first is Vision and second is Action.

First you envision your corner of the world. What do you want it to be? What are its virtues? How do people treat each other? What are the standards that you except for yourself?

Second is your action. How does what you do every day in all your interactions make that vision a reality?

Your actions can undermine your vision. Suppose you say, “I should be financially responsible and not carry credit card debt.” You know that is best and yet, you continue to carry debt.

Why the disconnect? Get that answer by having a quiet, honest conversation with yourself. “I did this because….I can do better because I can put my credit cards in the freezer, so they are not available.” That may seem extreme, but you are finding a way to interrupt the habit of making a purchase easy.

The story that follows “My niece, Elizabeth,” is about inner balance. It is about getting to your goal, in this case managing credit card debt, not by yelling at yourself, but having the deep insight about what runs you and what runs your money. Balance comes from having the vision that pulls us back to what is higher and better when our uneven actions lead us astray. At best, we are a work in progress.

Her niece Elizabeth

Gina wants to buy a birthday present for her favorite niece, but she doesn’t know exactly what she wants to buy. She does know the effect she wants to have. She wants her niece to feel loved and spoiled.

She’s been thinking about the gift for a while. She’s walking around a mall at lunchtime waiting for something to call to her, “This is the right gift for Elizabeth.” Gina’s lunch hour is running out, but just in time she sees the perfect suit for Elizabeth. Next week she has a job interview. She is excited and worried about it because it could be a career breakthrough. The suit is exquisite. It will make Elizabeth look her best and give her just a bit more of an attitude that says, “Of course you want me for this job.”

Gina talks with Elizabeth’s mom later that day.

“Yes, Louisa, I know the suit costs more than I can afford, but she’s going to love it and look ….”

“Didn’t you tell me you were swearing off charging, so…

“Oh, don’t do the big sister sober stuff. I have been excellent. I take a thermos and lunch to work. I haven’t used the cards since we shopped six months ago for Dad’s gift.”

“Gina, this is just a job interview. You spoil her.”

“Will it make you feel better, If I debated about it? I didn’t do my usual rush to buy it and not give it a second thought. That’s a great improvement. Now I’m like you. I worry before, during and after I buy something.”

“You’re bad.”

“If there weren’t laughter in your voice maybe I’d believe you. When will she be home? I want to see if this will look as good as I think. Maybe she won’t like it.”

“That would be the first time since she was born!”

What’s your view of this story?

Why is this a story about a successful goal and not about sloppy justification? Email me with your view, penelope@wealthychoices.com.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

Seven People, One Bathroom, Equals A Financial Plan

Post author By Dr. Penelope
Post date January 14, 2021
Categories In Budgeting

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Part of what is the matter with America today is we have too many bathrooms. How many people shared a bathroom in your home when you were growing up?

We were blessed to have one set of grandparents living with us, so we were seven, and we shared one full bathroom, and yes, a half bathroom on the first floor. What we have now is therapy, sensitivity groups, time management experts, organizational behavior experts, and others doing the job formally done by the necessity of really understanding another person’s needs and quirks. If everyone has a TV, phone, and bathroom, when do we learn the idea of negotiation, give, and take, and appropriate interdependence? This theory of mine: One bathroom = meaningful interdependence – may not hold water, but it does lead me to the discussion of our connection with our older relatives and how to help them.

Thanksgiving and other gatherings at the end of the year are especially full of the richness and complexity of family. You see either in your imagination or at your holiday table the faces of loved ones, some of whom will need your care, just as you at one time needed theirs. What should you do?

You may already feel that there are too many demands on your energy, time, and money. Nonetheless, you feel interconnected and want to do something. Here are some preliminary steps you can take before Mom or Dad or Aunt or Uncle has a stroke, suffers a serious fall, or begins to show signs of Alzheimer’s.

Small steps to take as you begin to consider these significant matters

Conversation starters

Because it can be hard to talk about health issues and frailty having a conversation starter can help. You’ll know best what will work with your family.

For instance, you can blame the discussion on a financial planner. The lead in is: Mom, I’ve been speaking with a financial planner who asked me (try any of these) …

Will your mom and dad come to live with you?

Do you know if they have written a will and if so, where is it?

Are they covered by a long-term care policy?

Perhaps, Mom and Dad will be pleased that you are being financially prudent.

Another approach is referencing an article or news story. “Dad, I read an article about… What do you think about …”

Start with something that has happened to a person they know. What did you find out about your friend, Pat’s going into a nursing home, or assisted living…?

Ask your parents about anyone they know and how that family is dealing with a health change. The discussion can lead to your asking, “If that had been you, what would you want us to do?”

- Executor/executrix or currently called Personal Representative

You asked me to be the person in charge of dealing with your estate. I can do that, and I pray that will be many years from now.

Just so I can do whatever you ask, does each of you have a current will? Who is your attorney? Is there anything you want me to know about it? Any surprises that you want the family to know about? Do you want me to read it over?

You are communicating your willingness to help without intruding too far at the moment. If they are open to your reading the will that is the best outcome. You will want to check on specific bequests to family, friends, and charities. Our Aunt Mary many years before her death allowed each of the nieces and nephews to choose which of her paintings they wanted. So, our names were listed in an addendum to the will and a tag was attached on the back of each canvas.

If your parents answer that the legal documents are in a safety deposit box, that may present a problem. In many states the safety deposit box is sealed at death. Find out the rules at their bank. Will you have access if your name is added? That is a step in the right direction but if a death occurs when the bank is closed, how will you know the directives for the funeral and other arrangements?

Be aware that taking on the role of the executor/executrix or personal representative requires work on your part. The larger and more complex their holdings, the more time and expertise you will need. You may need the help of accountants, appraisers, attorneys, real estate agents and others. Here’s one list of the duties of an executor https://www.elderlawanswers.com/what-is-required-of-an-executor-6434

Know the neighbors

Mom and Dad, you said you really like the neighbors who moved in next door. I’d like to meet them. Do you have their phone number?

You want the numbers of people who live right near your mom and dad so you can call them, or they can call you in an emergency.

Mom and Dad, do you have a written Health Care Proxy? If you were hospitalized, who has the right to speak to the doctor about your medical care?

You want to be sure that your parents have such documents and that copies are in your hands, and available to their doctors’ and the local hospital.

Everyone can help

Plan a strategy session with other concerned members of the family- siblings, cousins, grandchildren. Discuss how you could help Mom and Dad if it becomes necessary. Who could give them house space? Who could provide some income? Who would cut the grass? Could you pool your money and cover the premium for long-term care insurance so that professional care could be brought into their home? That way one family member would not be responsible for all the care.

One nurse I recently met did not like the spoiled Me-first attitude she began to see in her teenagers. So, she set the goal that each week they must do specific chores or acts of kindness for their grandparents. Some items on the list were: preparing a meal, being available for a set time to do whatever chores were required, shopping for them, etc. The nurse was encouraging “meaningful interdependence”. The grandparents had been there to nurture the young people, now it was appropriate for them to be respond with creative caring.

Perhaps we learned interdependence because of limited resources like one phone, one bathroom, or maybe we learned it by love or duty. In any case, we are richer for caring, accommodating, and understanding our common human condition with its joys and frailties. We may also find that how we address the needs of our older relatives draws the blueprint for how we in turn may be cared for. Let’s perpetuate the best of caring.

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A Wonderful Day and Why Words Matter at the Heart of Good Financial Planning & Discerning What Matters Most to Us

Post author By Dr. Penelope
Post date November 10, 2020
Categories In Investing

I knew it was going to be a wonderful day because as I brought my toothbrush to my mouth, I smelled peanut butter. I had coated my toothbrush with the mini poodle Tilly’s toothpaste. Tilly does not like having her teeth brushed but she tolerates the process because her toothpaste tastes like peanut butter.

My sleepy gesture got me laughing. How centering it is to start the day laughing at my own foibles. I take my work seriously, my loved ones and many other things seriously, but I’ve got to be able to laugh at myself, with myself and keep things in perspective.

Since the Covid-19 lock-down in Boston mid-March, I have worked twelve-and fourteen-hour days, because my dear clients wanted words, not just reports with numbers.

What are the words they wanted to hear? They’re the words at the heart of financial planning. My work with those whom I am privileged to serve is about many unknowns and some facts. We have facts that detail the patterns of market downturns and recoveries. We know the history of all sorts of investments and what conditions nurture particular investments. Charts and graphs can support all sorts of hypotheses.

Words at the heart of good financial planning are words that allow us to talk about our fears and the unknowns. We don’t know how long we may live, or what level of robust health we might enjoy. We don’t know if our money will last or if some extraordinary event will wipe away a lifetime of building for the future. We don’t fully grasp how breathing the air between us as we laugh, and chant can kill us. That sort of worry and social distancing violate our sense of being friends and neighbors.

Words allow the pain to take shape and get out, so it can be put in perspective, even if it cannot be removed. Words no matter how stuttering and inadequate can strengthen us. Like my modest toothpaste story, words can center us and focus us on what really matters. Whenever we are aligned with what is crucial in our lives, we can push aside the distractions and be open to the humble wonders around us. May we each experience many such restorative times.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

You Don’t Need Superpowers to Be Your Own Money Manager

Post author By Dr. Penelope
Post date October 27, 2020
Categories In Investing

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If you’re working and able to contribute to a retirement plan, are you investing in the plan? Who should manage your money? You may be eager to identify the most talented fund manager so you can invest in that fund. That’s an understandable search.

But if the most you contribute to a retirement plan is 15% of your income, then 85% of your money is in your control. Yes, some of your money pays taxes. Let’s guess that’s 30%. That would leave you in control of 55% of your money (100 -15 – 30 = 55%).

If you’re making decisions on 55% of your money and the professional fund manager is only handling 15%, then you should be as talented or more talented than the fund manager. Are you?

Here are seven questions to test your talent in handling the 55%:

When you buy a piece of clothing (i.e. slacks, a suit, a coat), are you able to evaluate how well the price reflects the workmanship?

Do you buy something that is on sale because you need it?

Do you pay your bills, taxes, licenses on time?

Can you explain how 95% of what you spend advances your goals?

Do you have an emergency cash reserve to cover a car or house repair or some other unforeseen event?

Do you think it is essential for you to give gifts and give to charities?

Do you save for short and long-term goals?

The more “Yeses” you have the better, and the more talented you are in managing your money. You are your most valuable money manager.

Here’s what the yeses indicate:

There are plenty of reviews for you to read before you buy electronics and machines of all sorts, but rarely any when you’re buying slacks. An informed shopper can identify workmanship in a suit, a dessert or anything else. If you are buying designer labels, you may not be getting quality in the workmanship. Take the time to learn from someone what to look for in a well-made garment.

If you are attracted to and give in to the temptation to buy items with a deep discount sales price, you may buy things you don’t really need. You may justify the purchase by saying that it may come in handy later on. Do you have clothes or shoes that you bought and don’t wear? Have you bought a tool or gizmo for the garden or workshop or kitchen that isn’t used? The thing would have been a bargain if the thing were used. Alas, temptation in any area of life can lead us in the wrong direction.

Paying bills, taxes and licenses on time takes organization and discipline and saves you money on fines and late fees. If your cash flow is uneven because of your job, then you need to be even more clever about juggling the bills so that you don’t waste money on fees and fines.

Buying an air conditioner for the bedroom so that you can get a good night’s sleep and get up refreshed is in line with a goal for health. A less expensive item like toothpaste definitely advances the goals of good dental hygiene and being more socially acceptable. Buying a quart of your very favorite ice cream when you have decided to concentrate on losing a little weight is undermining your goal.

Though credit cards may cover an unexpected repair, for every month that the balance is not paid off you are paying 2% a month more for that repair if the interest on your card is 24%. Building up a substantial cash reserve is ideal.

Gifting is one way we say to others, “I see you; I care about you. I want to do something that makes you smile.” Each of us is complex, partially known and closed in with our own perceptions, pains, and joys. We break out of our isolation, aloneness, and fragility when we connect to someone we care about, and causes we care about. Gifting is one creative way we make a connection of heart and mind. We are not focusing on the function of that person in our lives but on the unique person. We are empathizing with that charity and see how it is contributing to a more humane community. We enrich our lives and those around us with gifts. Those gifts may be things, or money, or listening or lending a hand, or giving enthusiastic appreciation and support.

Goals are often on a timeline: within this year, 3-5 years out, 10 or more years away. Fewer dollars can be committed to the later goals since the investment has time to grow. Saving toward each at the same time is a satisfying system because it helps us dream about the future we want and gives us a concrete plan for reaching those goals.

You are your most valuable money manager. Your wise daily choices can allocate money to your top priorities, keep you from wasting money, create community, and advance you to your goals and dreams. What is in your control is critically important. Isn’t it satisfying to know that the skills that you need are skills you have? You don’t need superpowers, just daily wise choices. These can lead to your success.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

Penelope@wealthychoices.com. Fax 781 893 3565. In all 50 states, Penelope S. Tzougros is registered with, and securities and advisory services are offered through, LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC. She is affiliated with Bay Financial Associates, LLC. Financial Planning is offered through Wealthy Choices® and Bay Financial Advisors, Inc. Both are registered investment advisors. Neither is a broker-dealer nor affiliated with LPL Financial.

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Who’s the Kid Messing with Your Money?

Post author By Dr. Penelope
Post date October 27, 2020
Categories In Budgeting

Have you ever experienced a smart-foolish event with your money? Suppose pre-Covid-19, you decided to have a garage sale also called by other names like yard sale, and tag sale. It’s a great way to get rid of some of the clutter in the house and raise some money to pay off a bill or two.

You work for two weeks preparing for the sale. It’s a bright day and many people show up and buy most of the stuff. You are surprised when you count up the proceeds that you made $250. But, no bills were paid. Instead you called a few friends and you wined and dined them at a near-by restaurant.

Why did the smart plan turn foolish? One guess is that you didn’t make the decision. The kid did.

What kid? The “YOU”, who as a child heard people talk about money, maybe even fight about it. What did you hear people say? Money doesn’t grow on trees. Easy come easy go. Money is evil.

What did people do with money? Did they spend it as fast as it came in? Were they strict about saving and cutting out “extras”? Was there some category that was always okay to spend money on? Was it healthy food, liquor, books for school, fancy clothes, or something else?

As a kid, who did you think was smart about money? Who did you think was rich? What made you think they were smart or rich? As you look back at those same people, is your assessment different now than it was then? Why?

Of the people who were influential in your growing years, who handled money the same way you handle money now?

What was the first thing you bought with money you earned? What did that represent to you? Who else in the family would have done that? Were you praised, criticized, chided about how you spent your money? How did that affect your next transaction?

As my friend Charlotte says, most of us are “uneven.” We do smart things and foolish things with money, time, emotions, and words. The trick is to catch ourselves when we swing from smart to foolish and ask why is the kid messing with us.

The questions posed above are worth taking the time to explore because they are as much our genealogy as the tracing of family trees. Genealogy has become the second largest hobby in our country, perhaps because we want to feel centered and part of a community. Those are worthy goals. Understanding what drives our money attitudes and decisions is valuable. Examining what shaped us and drives us can help us make more smart decisions that don’t turn foolish. Have a talk with the kid, so the kid can grow up and do better.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

Wake Up from Your Nightmares About Long-Term Care

Our bodies are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139) and though we may be grateful for whatever capabilities we have, we are also aware that under the surface of well-being, our bodies may be concocting dangerous changes to our health. If you are like me and have or had a beloved parent decline with dementia, you may fear that your genes are preparing the same path for you.

How can you deal with that pervasive worry, with that nightmare? Though the word “nightmare” comes into English in the 1300’s, the phenomenon of nightmares has always been with us. The word means that a demon or goblin has tormented you with a frightening dream. Though you may not believe in demons and goblins, there is a medical diagnosis called Nightmare Disorder.

Which capability would you be most frightened to lose: seeing, hearing, walking, speaking, remembering words and events, comprehending what someone is saying to you, identifying your loved ones?

Not only do we not want to lose any of them, we don’t want to even think about such changes. After I wrote my book on long-term care, I was regularly interviewed on radio. One radio host was working from a list of guests his producer provided for the various spots on his show. All he had were the notes he was given. He introduced me and then said with alarm, “So you’re talking about dementia. Well, if that happened to me, I’d jump out a second story window.” He hung up the phone and ended the segment. His fear of being less capable was so intense he could not even have a conversation about it.

The nightmare of a life-changing diagnosis doesn’t go away because you bolt the doors and hide under the covers. It goes away because you wake up, acknowledge you are afraid and then look at your options.

What are a few choices that can increase your sense of control and lessen the fear?

Reduce your risks for dementia. Dementia is a catch all term for a group of symptoms. Alzheimer’s, a degenerative brain disease, is the most common form of dementia.
Reduce your risks: enjoy a healthy diet; stay physically active; challenge your brain -keep learning; engage in social activities. (Read more at https://www.alz.org)
Prepare for a disruption. Just as you would prepare for a hurricane, or bad weather conditions, consider what steps you can take to lessen the impact. Yes, it is easier to buy batteries, extra food, water, and plywood to cover windows, than it is to save money for a health crisis.

It is likely that your health insurance will not cover all your medical costs. It may cover the initial emergency after a car accident, a fall, a stroke, spinal cord injury, but it probably will not cover the long-term care that is called custodial. Medicare does not cover custodial care. If your assets have been reduced you may qualify for Medicaid, which does cover custodial care. How much your assets must be reduced to be eligible for Medicaid varies by state.

Can you save up enough to cover long-term care?

If you need long-term care, and want to be cared for in your own home, can you pay about $4,195 a month for one 44-hour shift for a home health aide? If you needed to cover the full 168 hours of a week that would be almost four shifts bringing the monthly cost to about $16,780. (Genworth Cost of Care Survey 2019 national median cost) Can you pay the home health aides and all your regular bills to maintain your home and anyone else living with you?

Nurture a community of family and friends. Do you have enough devoted family and friends who are willing and able to care for you so that you do not need to pay for health aides?

Adapt your house. Perhaps you could stay in your home with fewer helpers if the house were adapted so that you could be more independent. What changes might you have to make? What might those changes cost?
Shift the burden. Have someone else pay for your care. Yes, an insurance company that provides long-term care insurance could pay the aides or pay for care in another setting like assisted living. If you are insured, you reduce the worry about paying for your care, and you are comforted by knowing professionals will be there to help you if, and when you need care.
Waking up from your nightmares of needing long-term care comes from talking about the fear and taking actions that can blunt the impact. It’s like turning on the light. We can’t eliminate the possibility of a life changing diagnosis, but we can face it with courage and creative energy. We are more than our health and more than our illness. We are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

Are Financial Losses Haunting You?

Losing money is not desirable but it’s normal. Managing money losses is one of the seven competences for financial success.¹ If that seems odd to you, here’s the basis for the claim. Money and time are the dimensions we operate in for work and for buying and selling. We make thousands of decisions. If we allow bad decisions to haunt us, instead of teach us, we may make worse decisions in the future

A few domestic examples: yogurt is on sale. You buy it. Somehow the container gets pushed aside and your morning routine of scooping out the yogurt changes. Next time, you a ready for a serving, you find it has spoiled. You dump it out and you lose the benefit of the savings as well as the cost of the product. Another challenge is vegetables. When you are ready to use all those healthy vegetables, they are not only past their prime, they’re past their dotage.

For those who are not food centric, maybe you signed up for an app that would be free for 30 days. If you didn’t cancel, there would be a charge on your card. You forgot to cancel and paid for something you didn’t want. You can probably identify items you bought that you did not wear, or did not use, or did not like once they were in your home. If you didn’t return them, you lost money.

Perhaps, you are not troubled by these losses because individually they are small. However, over time they do add up, or said another way, they do subtract from your wealth. The losses don’t haunt you. They are just what happens in a busy life.

Taking a loss when you sell a stock, a bond, a house, a car, or a fund may generate a louder groan and bigger loss. The transaction may also generate responses like: “I’ll never do that again.” “I have bad luck.” “So, and so mislead me.” “My timing was bad. I should have waited to sell.” The incidents that elicit these statements are likely to haunt you and alter how you approach, or shy away from other similar transactions.

How do you get out of the haunting blame game and the nagging negatives around these losses? Here are some guidelines for achieving more competency with money losses.

1 Accept the fact that it will be rare for you to buy that car or stock, et al. at the lowest price possible or sell it at the highest price possible. You would waste a lot of your time and energy to max out on each end.

2 Understand what you need and can afford. If you are selling something, what do you need to clear in the transaction to be in the right range for your purposes? A sales price built on greed or fantasy is not a healthy approach for your own wealth building, or for your being a fair neighbor in commerce. What sort of world do you want to live in and contribute to?

3 Don’t enter a deal if you can not lose the money. You should not commit money that you need for the essentials to run your life to a hope of gain, to a “golden opportunity.”

4 Consider everything you own is illiquid. For instance, you should not buy a house assuming its value will have gone up by the time you want to sell it. The housing market could have dropped, and no one is buying, or not buying at your sales price. When you buy anything assume it is illiquid, meaning you can not get a buyer for it and that you will continue to own it. That applies to cars, electronic gadgets, and anything else you own.

“To have and to hold” used to apply to wedding vows that were expected to endure. The marketplace preaches you can dump anything, anytime. You don’t need to value your choices, be responsible for them and make the best of them. Though you may feel you are being clever, a lot of trading and dumping of whatever it is may increase your losses.

5 Research, then buy. Learn about whatever you are buying. Research the item. Talk with others who are knowledgeable and those who have had a bad experience with whatever it is. Think about what you learned from all the different voices. Take your time. Worthwhile investments are always available.

6 Keep your perspective. Loss of money is not loss of health, or loss of a loved one, or loss of freedom, or loss of time. It’s just money. Many financial losses are distressing but not life changing. If they are out of your control and are life changing, hopefully there are government programs, insurances, social programs, family, and friends who can help.

When we lose money in transactions of whatever kind, we are probably more in control of the situation than we like to admit. We will lose money. What we must not do is lose who we are, our purpose, and values. Money has many important money jobs: food, shelter, clothes, etc. Money should not be given non-money jobs like self-esteem, creating love, healing a bruised psyche.

Enjoy all the good your hard-earned money can afford you and your loved ones. Allow for your smart transactions and your foolish ones to just be part of life. We don’t say the most perfect words in every situation, and we don’t have a perfect track record with our money. Hopefully, our hearts and minds are in the right place and we can relax into the moment by moment ongoing work of developing as caring, insightful human beings, not haunted by our lapses.

¹Penelope Tzougros, Wealthy Choices: The Seven Competencies of Financial Success (Wiley, 2004).

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

Saying “Yes”

About a month into the lockdown here in Boston, my neighbor asked if I’d like some sour dough starter so I could make bread. My first thought was I don’t like most sour dough bread that I have eaten. I said, “Yes,” and shortly after that Kevin was at my door holding a large jar like those used for canning and setting up pickles. He gave me a basic lesson in how to feed the starter and a few pages of instructions. “What does this have to do with investing, Penelope? You’re off your reporting beat.” Yes, I create strategies to help people retire with sustainable income and I cook and bake for clients.

So, what does it have to do with you? It has to do with investing, your aging, and your legacy.

If I had said, “No, thanks, I don’t like sour dough bread,” I would have been correct about my past experiences and I would have made sure nothing disturbed my prejudice against bread that wasn’t soft and buttery and heading toward a croissant.

We are continually presented with new ideas, products, and people. We can reject what is new and less familiar or we can allow ourselves to be open to something new that forces us to think out an idea or try something we have not tried before.

Evaluating something new takes energy. Think about visiting a city or country for the first time. It takes a lot more mental energy to navigate the routine actions of the day. New ideas demand energy.

If you are presented with a type of investment that is not familiar but seems to have value for you, do you say no, or do you expend the energy to learn? The effort to evaluate new things with an open mind is a critical way that you can continue to grow and also remain relevant to others. One way we can stay relevant no matter our chronological age is through being thoughtful of others and nurturing bonds of love. Another way is making conversation that shows curiosity and the interest in ideas. Both are about saying “Yes” to what’s around you.

The priceless legacy you give those you love is your example of the courage to think thorough choices especially the most difficult ones that life thrusts on you. More important than any things or money you pass on to others, is your example of how you got through tough times, made significant decisions and did not retreat into a world of preconceived and limiting views of everything.

Saying “Yes” to a sour dough bread starter is a simple example of flexing the “Yes” muscle. There are endless such small commitments that can help train us to say yes. Yes, I’ll entertain this idea, or person, or restaurant, or new musician or investment or vacation spot. Yes, gives us a chance to enlarge our lives. And yes, I have made dozens of loaves of delicious bread because I didn’t let my preconceived idea narrow my experience. Send me an email, I am happy to exchange recipes with you.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com.

51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.

How You Spend Your Money Says A Lot About Who You Are

You vote every day as you spend your money. You endorse this brand over that, this vegetable over that. Maybe one reason so many people like to shop is that making choices is empowering and feels like an expression of your individuality.

The marketing industry has studied how we make decisions. They study whether we look left or right when we enter a department store and what colors and signs get our attention. Their brilliant skill can make it hard to resist buying something that was not on our list when we entered the store.

Another pressure on our spending is the behavior of our friends and colleagues. In the pre-Covid-19 days, suppose your office mates and boss decided to go to a local restaurant for camaraderie and a meal. You are new to the office and you are also in a period of being especially careful with your spending because you are paying down a credit card as fast as you can. You order a modestly priced entrée and nothing extra. Everyone else is ordering drinks, appetizers, and desserts.

The others decide to split the bill the way they always do. Oops. Now you are paying for food and drink that you did not consume. Because you are new, you are not comfortable being the only voice to say, “No, I’m just going to pay for my meal.” What’s the risk if you say that, and if you don’t? The good news is you were on track to do what is best for you and temporarily you are pushed off course.

Your plan to be careful is in conflict with wanting to be accepted into the group. You acquiesce and make a note to self to avoid going to dinner with this crowd. Your response is understandable even if avoiding situations may not be the best long-term solution. Gradually we can become more graceful in handling these challenges.

Another example of how we can go off track is moving too fast, not giving ourselves time to think. If we are going to be true to ourselves and do what is in our own best interest, we need to count to ten and ask: If I spend this money on this whatever it is, does it reflect my values? Does it advance my goals?

Tell me how you spend your money and I’ll tell you who you are.

Yes, you vote your values when you spend money. As a financial planner, I’ve reviewed innumerable analyses of cash flow. They tell a story about what you value most.

Test this out. Make a list of what you spent in the last week or two or longer. Where did the money go? If you could call those dollars back, would you? In what ways are you better off because of what you spent? If you are not better off, you can make a course correction now and enjoy more of what really matters to you.

Money choices like other choices we make come from something deep in us. Allow yourself the fascinating exploration of what’s running you, what’s pushing you into your decisions.

When you gain more control and focus, you can delight in being the best of yourself.

Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.