“From now on, I will always [fill in the next part: exercise, control my temper, eat more vegetables, save more money…]. If you are successful in following up on whatever statement you made, bravo. If you continued your plan for a long-time, months, years, you deserve more praise.
However, my friend Charlotte says, “People are uneven.” Sometimes we follow-up with what we think is best and other times we don’t.
So, how do we stay steady and in balance with our goals whatever they are? I think there are two parts to this. The first is Vision and second is Action.
First you envision your corner of the world. What do you want it to be? What are its virtues? How do people treat each other? What are the standards that you except for yourself?
Second is your action. How does what you do every day in all your interactions make that vision a reality?
Your actions can undermine your vision. Suppose you say, “I should be financially responsible and not carry credit card debt.” You know that is best and yet, you continue to carry debt.
Why the disconnect? Get that answer by having a quiet, honest conversation with yourself. “I did this because….I can do better because I can put my credit cards in the freezer, so they are not available.” That may seem extreme, but you are finding a way to interrupt the habit of making a purchase easy.
The story that follows “My niece, Elizabeth,” is about inner balance. It is about getting to your goal, in this case managing credit card debt, not by yelling at yourself, but having the deep insight about what runs you and what runs your money. Balance comes from having the vision that pulls us back to what is higher and better when our uneven actions lead us astray. At best, we are a work in progress.
Her niece Elizabeth
Gina wants to buy a birthday present for her favorite niece, but she doesn’t know exactly what she wants to buy. She does know the effect she wants to have. She wants her niece to feel loved and spoiled.
She’s been thinking about the gift for a while. She’s walking around a mall at lunchtime waiting for something to call to her, “This is the right gift for Elizabeth.” Gina’s lunch hour is running out, but just in time she sees the perfect suit for Elizabeth. Next week she has a job interview. She is excited and worried about it because it could be a career breakthrough. The suit is exquisite. It will make Elizabeth look her best and give her just a bit more of an attitude that says, “Of course you want me for this job.”
Gina talks with Elizabeth’s mom later that day.
“Yes, Louisa, I know the suit costs more than I can afford, but she’s going to love it and look ….”
“Didn’t you tell me you were swearing off charging, so…
“Oh, don’t do the big sister sober stuff. I have been excellent. I take a thermos and lunch to work. I haven’t used the cards since we shopped six months ago for Dad’s gift.”
“Gina, this is just a job interview. You spoil her.”
“Will it make you feel better, If I debated about it? I didn’t do my usual rush to buy it and not give it a second thought. That’s a great improvement. Now I’m like you. I worry before, during and after I buy something.”
“You’re bad.”
“If there weren’t laughter in your voice maybe I’d believe you. When will she be home? I want to see if this will look as good as I think. Maybe she won’t like it.”
“That would be the first time since she was born!”
What’s your view of this story?
Why is this a story about a successful goal and not about sloppy justification? Email me with your view, penelope@wealthychoices.com.
All investing involves risk including loss of principal. No strategy assures success or protects against loss. This is a hypothetical example and is not representative of any specific situation. Your results will vary. The hypothetical rates of return used do not reflect the deduction of fees and charges inherent to investing.
Penelope S. Tzougros, PhD, ChFC, CLU. Financial Planner, Author, National Speaker. Wealthy Choices.com. 51 Sawyer Road, Suite 340, Waltham, MA 02453. Direct to Penelope 781 577 2311.
Penelope@wealthychoices.com. Fax 781 893 3565. In all 50 states, Penelope S. Tzougros is registered with, and securities and advisory services are offered through, LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC. She is affiliated with Bay Financial Associates, LLC. Financial Planning is offered through Wealthy Choices® and Bay Financial Advisors, Inc. Both are registered investment advisors. Neither is a broker-dealer nor affiliated with LPL Financial.
